I get to edit on Saturday! This part of the process always excites me and terrifies me. Even though I know I got great footage I am so petrified that nothing is going to work when it’s all cut together – it’ll be undynamic, there will be no continuity, I won’t agree with any of the choices I made on set, etc. I don’t think I will ever get over that though, I just think that as an artist that is the one bit of insecurity that is going to hang onto me through the process. I am doing everything in my power to stop it but in the end it’s God not me that is going to take that insecurity away. It is God that is going to make my film be what it is, I am just the vessel that uses the talents that He saw fit to give me.
There were more layoffs at my job at the beginning of the week. We closed an entire out of state art center and laid off two in-house artists here. It sucks because it makes me really unsure about my future with the company. Even though I’m the new girl I’ve been safe thus far because of what I do within the art department.
I don’t want to be at this company for long, I want to be a paid feature film director; but until that happens a job would be a great thing to have. I will be thankful to God while I have this job and remember every day that I am trying to get ahead in another industry not this one.