I can be productive with my day and my creativity despite my lack of employment. The quote is from my movie.
I think it all partially hit me today. I went to Michael's in an effort to search out some kind of creative outlet and I just walked around in a funk unable to form an opinion or inspiration for anything. I just felt totally and completely wiped.
The creativity will come back if todays photo is any inspiration, I just need to keep my feet under me and get some things in place. Too much is undecided right now and I need to get "all my ducks in a row" to use a cliche.
On that note I think I will watch a movie and just enjoy.
I was laid off from my job today.
I am now amongst the unemployed again. This upsets me for two reasons; the first that it's less than a week from my birthday and at this time last year I was job hunting, and the second is that I am still working on End.
I am okay because I know that I do not want to be doing these jobs my entire life, it's not like my career goal was to be a customer care/administrative assistant my entire life. I am a director that is forced to do those things because I am not at the status in my career where I am being paid to direct.
My first thoughts when I was called by the head of HR was "how am I going to finish post-production if I have to work on the weekends?" I seriously anticipated being forced back into retail.
So what I am going to do now is figure out all this unemployment stuff, start to look for a day job again and use any and all time I can to get everything I possible can done for End. While I will need a pay check, I really do need to get my real career kicked into high gear.
What I will not do is devolve into a pity party, recite the littany of things Money Mailer should do instead of this, or any other form of negativity. That job was not a part of me, it was merely a place the helped me get my movie made and it served its purpose. Now God is having me move on.
God is in control. That is the one thing keeping me from falling apart. God is in control of this, it is all in His plan and He gave me End.
So I realized last night that I forgot to tell people that Pizza Delivery made it into a short film festival. I forgot to tell people because I was making End and because I didn't think much of the festival that it got into, it wasn't even a traditional festival with traditional screenings. So I brushed it off an forgot about it. Until last night.
Last night I got an e-mail from IMDB because I get to set up a page for Pizza Delivery.
My little brother entered my room when I was reading said e-mail and asked how that happens on IMDB and I told him that the short got into a fest and he made me high five him. Then my mother heard and she and my dad congratulated me for getting into a festival. They were all abuzz with questions.
They just reminded me how good it feels when something like that happens. I need to take any and all blessings that have been handed to me and be glad because even though I am still starting out in my career I could have it a lot worse and I could have people around me that didn't care about what I was doing.
My footage is my footage, I will work with what I have and God will get it done.
Posted by Megan at 1/11/2009 06:38:00 PM