Didn't make it into another festival. The independent film market is changing. Drastically.
I need God's help to figure out what the next step is.
Oscar Predictions 2014!
12 years ago
5.02.2010
4.21.2010
April 21 2010
"...the illusion of perfect casting. People look at it and go, `no one else could have done that.' Well, actually, they're very appropriate for the role. But part of the trick is bringing the character to the actor and manuevering the actor to the character."
~ Bryan Singer
Film Comment, volume 45\issue 1
4.12.2010
April 12, 2010
I’ve been happy lately. This is a lovely thing because for so long I felt like I was trapped in a dour, depressing outlook on life. Nothing major that I’ve been hoping for has really happened yet, but still I am having a very different outlook on things. There’s only two things this can be blamed on: a) God & b) endorphins.
I’m training for the Rock N Roll half marathon. Notice I don’t say I’m running it. I’m not an athlete and the half marathon is walker friendly, which is nice as since I’ve never run I’m not going to be able to run 13.1 miles by June. I’ll be lucky to run 2 miles by June and walk the rest, but I will be happy with that even. However, in order to train I’ve been walking/running 4 days a week – long distances too. Exercise produces endorphins which make you happy. I am very happy and even better because I am getting healthy (one of my goals for 2010).
A happy and healthy artist is a productive artist. Now let’s see what can happen from here…
I’m training for the Rock N Roll half marathon. Notice I don’t say I’m running it. I’m not an athlete and the half marathon is walker friendly, which is nice as since I’ve never run I’m not going to be able to run 13.1 miles by June. I’ll be lucky to run 2 miles by June and walk the rest, but I will be happy with that even. However, in order to train I’ve been walking/running 4 days a week – long distances too. Exercise produces endorphins which make you happy. I am very happy and even better because I am getting healthy (one of my goals for 2010).
A happy and healthy artist is a productive artist. Now let’s see what can happen from here…
4.09.2010
April 9, 2006
Four years ago today a wedding was planned, invitations were sent, RSVP’s & gifts had come in. But at the beginning of March, after ignoring all of the prompting from God along the way an event happened that derailed the wedding – the bride and groom were separated by bad paperwork.
The bride was in the country on a work visa and met the groom when they worked together. After two years they’d gotten engaged despite everyone’s advice, and one weekend in March 2006, a month before the wedding the bride ignored the grooms pleading and crossed the border into Mexico. When ready to come back to the U.S. and her fiancé God stopped her. At the border questions were raised about the paper work of the bride and her friends and everyone lost their access to come back to the U.S.
The groom and bride were devastated. What were they to do with all of the plans in place, only a few short weeks from being man & wife?
The grooms family had it just as hard as the groom. He’d lied to them about what was happening with the bride. He wouldn’t let them help and despite their dislike of the pairing, they would have been there. Watching the groom fall apart was hard. Together the groom and his family canceled the wedding, returned gifts, and hung the wedding clothes far back in the closet. It was apparent that the bride would not be back into the country for a long time.
Once they were apart the waiting game began, new visas were applied for and more about the bride became revealed. With months and miles between them the groom started to come out of his haze and began to see the bride and the world again. The bride lied about her name & her age. The groom became upset that she never listened to him. The bride tried to control the groom from a country away and slowly felt her influence lessening.
Finally in July, when the groom and the bride should have been a Mr. & a Mrs. for three months, the groom told the bride goodbye.
That brings us to today, a Friday like any other. Four years have passed, all but one gift were returned (a lesson in leaving a return address) and the teal bridesmaid dresses have long since been recycled. Today a man and his family sigh a deep sigh, and wait to see if he will ever be a groom again.
The bride was in the country on a work visa and met the groom when they worked together. After two years they’d gotten engaged despite everyone’s advice, and one weekend in March 2006, a month before the wedding the bride ignored the grooms pleading and crossed the border into Mexico. When ready to come back to the U.S. and her fiancé God stopped her. At the border questions were raised about the paper work of the bride and her friends and everyone lost their access to come back to the U.S.
The groom and bride were devastated. What were they to do with all of the plans in place, only a few short weeks from being man & wife?
The grooms family had it just as hard as the groom. He’d lied to them about what was happening with the bride. He wouldn’t let them help and despite their dislike of the pairing, they would have been there. Watching the groom fall apart was hard. Together the groom and his family canceled the wedding, returned gifts, and hung the wedding clothes far back in the closet. It was apparent that the bride would not be back into the country for a long time.
Once they were apart the waiting game began, new visas were applied for and more about the bride became revealed. With months and miles between them the groom started to come out of his haze and began to see the bride and the world again. The bride lied about her name & her age. The groom became upset that she never listened to him. The bride tried to control the groom from a country away and slowly felt her influence lessening.
Finally in July, when the groom and the bride should have been a Mr. & a Mrs. for three months, the groom told the bride goodbye.
That brings us to today, a Friday like any other. Four years have passed, all but one gift were returned (a lesson in leaving a return address) and the teal bridesmaid dresses have long since been recycled. Today a man and his family sigh a deep sigh, and wait to see if he will ever be a groom again.
3.26.2010
March 26, 2010
At the risk of sounding like a meloncholy broken record, I am tired of work.
I often think that it's harder to be a person with a dream or ambitions than a person that is happy where they are planted. If you have a lofty goal and you're swimming upstream like I am, you start to feel like you are never getting anywhere and none of your effort is paying off.
It's times like these that I need to remember that God is in control and not me, but more often than not that is a hard thing to remember.
The human centric spirit inside of me want answers and wants them now. I don't want to deal with God-time, I want to deal on my time. If I am miserable and unhappy with my situation in life I want the fix. But God doesn't work that way.
The truth is that I don't know what lies ahead for me. For all I know two weeks from now I will get a phone call and someone will be interested in my movie and I will begin a new season of my life. But on the flip side I could be stuck in this season of my life filled with angst and meloncholy for years to come. I hope not, but it's all on God-time not mine.
My job is just to keep the faith, listen when He pushes me, and try to discern the path ahead of me. Every day I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how exhausted I might be.
I often think that it's harder to be a person with a dream or ambitions than a person that is happy where they are planted. If you have a lofty goal and you're swimming upstream like I am, you start to feel like you are never getting anywhere and none of your effort is paying off.
It's times like these that I need to remember that God is in control and not me, but more often than not that is a hard thing to remember.
The human centric spirit inside of me want answers and wants them now. I don't want to deal with God-time, I want to deal on my time. If I am miserable and unhappy with my situation in life I want the fix. But God doesn't work that way.
The truth is that I don't know what lies ahead for me. For all I know two weeks from now I will get a phone call and someone will be interested in my movie and I will begin a new season of my life. But on the flip side I could be stuck in this season of my life filled with angst and meloncholy for years to come. I hope not, but it's all on God-time not mine.
My job is just to keep the faith, listen when He pushes me, and try to discern the path ahead of me. Every day I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how exhausted I might be.
3.22.2010
3.19.2010
March 19, 2010
It's no secret that I want to get into a film festival badly. When you're being trained as an artist you get negative criticisms much more often than you get positive and I am ready for some positive. Being accepted into a festival would definitely be a positive.
I have to figure out what to do next. I have a few options available to pursue next for END but I would love to be able to pursue them with the extra bonus of being able to tell people where the film screened. If nothing else that's like being able to approach people with actual credientials for your film instead of just saying "well I really think it's good, but you know, I made it..."
Positive reenforcement, that's all I'm saying. A confidence boost would be lovely.
On a completely unrelated side note, it looks like I will be participating in the Rock N Roll half marathon in San Diego in June...ha ha ha...um, that's different for me.
I have to figure out what to do next. I have a few options available to pursue next for END but I would love to be able to pursue them with the extra bonus of being able to tell people where the film screened. If nothing else that's like being able to approach people with actual credientials for your film instead of just saying "well I really think it's good, but you know, I made it..."
Positive reenforcement, that's all I'm saying. A confidence boost would be lovely.
On a completely unrelated side note, it looks like I will be participating in the Rock N Roll half marathon in San Diego in June...ha ha ha...um, that's different for me.
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