February 28, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!
Originally uploaded by Lanna Grace

A day can do strange things to you.

Last night I couldn't sleep because I just couldn't settle my brain down. All I could think about was how I haven't gotten a job yet, and I need one so that I can keep paying for my car, my movie, and generally living. It's all run of the mill stuff. I know God is going to take care of me, and so these worries will run there course and amount to nothing. But either way I was exhausted all day and looking forward to a good night of sleep.

That brings us to tonight. My little brother just broke up with his girlfriend and he and I are close, so he wanted me to distract him and keep his mind off it. I was glad to do it, but it makes the mind start thinking. I know why they broke up and I agree with it. God is taking them in different directions.

The problem is that I should be asleep right now, preparing to watch my movie tomorrow and call a picture lock. Instead I am sitting at my desk, with Shining Through on TV, unable to sleep because all I can think about are the ramifications of life.

I trust God to take me where He wants me to go. He will guide me to a job or he will guide my film before the right eyes to give me a career, or He will guide the right man to me. All of it is in God's hands and I can't be distracted by what I don't have, but what He has waiting ahead for me. That is the only way I can be good as a director if God wants that for me.