November 26, 2009

I'll be honest, I know it's Thanksgiving today but for some reason I am having trouble getting into the spirit of Thanksgiving.

I know I have so much to be thankful for but 2009 has been a hard, stress filled year and I am exhausted. I feel like I have been waiting for a new chapter in my life to start for quite a long time and it's still miles and miles away. I am mentally strained at the thought that my life is much the same as it was a year ago.

What I am thankful for is that I have two brothers that by the grace of God and the miracles of modern medicine are still alive. Both are going through periods of pain and struggle with their health but they are both alive and fighting. My brother's each provide something unique and special to my life and I don't know what I would be like without their influence.

I am also thankful for the movies, as cheesy as that sounds. Through the thick and thin of this year when I have come home exhausted, or so stressed I can't think of how to even accomplish daily tasks I still get a sense of peace and inspiration from movies. No matter when I can turn on a film and soon the masterful motions of Scorsese, Reitman or Wilder are enthralling me, or the comedy of Brooks, Favreau and Stiller makes me forget being yelled at by a franchisee. It's an artistic well that keeps being filled in my life.

I also have to do the cliche and be thankful for my job even though it's not one I want. I spent a chunk of this year as a laid off stastic...and it stunk. No one wanted to interview me because there were no jobs and only workign on END got me through it. When my job called and said they wanted to rehire me I was resistant because if you read this blog you know that my passion and drive does not exist in customer service, but I had to have something to pay the bills and so I went back. If it weren't for that I might still be collecting unemployment and complaining that I can't get hired or into film festivals and this would be a very different blog.

I am going to do my best today to change my attitude and belive it or not writing this blog has already helped a little. I encourage you to look at your past year and do the same. Look back, find the good and the bad and really examine the good. You might just see that no matter how little good you think there was in the past twelve months that it just might outweigh the bad.