Well, I am still sick and yet I have not been calling in sick to work though I probably should be. Call me crazy for trying to save my vacation time for the holidays. So while I try to get motivated enough to do some sort of physical movement other than type (and it doesn’t look like that’s happening) I have lots of time to think.
I keep saying that I want my life to change, and I do in certain ways – I want to be a full time director, I want to make movies. However, I think I need to be careful to thank God for the ways my life has already changed, or been changed by the things He has thrown in my path – things I never expected.
I never expected to go to film school; out of nowhere God revealed to me that he did have a plan for me and it was movies, I’d had blinders on. So I did what an uber-geek like me does and researched and applied to film schools. For the first time in my life I had a purpose, a goal and an outlet for a passion that had been consuming me for years.
I expected to go to UCLA film not CSULB but God had other plans. I got waitlisted at every school I applied to except CSULB. So I went and was none too happy about it. Yet it was an amazing experience that I can never regret, the only thing I can regret was that it seemed to short. God knew what He was doing and put me in a place that I never would have imagined myself being and I think I am a better artist because of it. I know I am a different artist because of it.
I spent my senior year listening to all the exciting things Paramount was doing, so I told myself to try and get a job there after I graduated. I did it. I would have never expected it but I became a studio page – audience wrangler and tour guide and I loved it. God again knew what He was doing; I spent a year becoming comfortable around a lot, learning I could be a public speaker and getting over the last vestiges of my shyness. I am a more confident person because I was a page. It sounds stupid but it was the best learning experience of my life. It didn’t lead to the jobs I’d hoped for, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t well worth my time.
I worked in a place I commonly refer to as hell; I didn’t want to , I didn’t think I was supposed to but I did, and God blessed me. He blessed me with some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life. He taught me too that I need to keep pushing to achieve my goals.
I made three short films in a period of 2 days; God blessed me with a cast and crew that were so devoted that we pulled it off and I learned so much more as an artist than I could have otherwise.
I just shot a feature film in eight days; I never expected to do that, and do it well but so far it looks like we did. God blessed me with a cast, crew and friends that enabled me to do that and hopefully exceed at it.
I know it’s too early to tell where God is taking me next, but I can only hope that He keeps me where He wants me because even though I like to complain I know it’s been a pretty good trip so far.