June 30 2009

A few days ago Christopher & I took a day trip to San Diego. I love San Diego, I think down town is beautiful, inspiring and the kind of place that gives me a relaxed creqtive vibe I can thrive off of. I wouldn't mind living in downtown someday.

The thing that struck me this time though is how much Comic Con is entertwined in my feelings about that city and can give me an electric charge even when it's not there. I walk down a side street and I see the corner where a Storm Trooper was riding a motorcycle. I see people of all kinds spilling out the doors of the convention center and onto the street. I see the shocked bar patrons as a group of Dr. Who fans congregate to eat and flout the establishments dress code.

There is nothing like Con. For someone like me who doesn't get to be around a vast amount of people who understand my creative influences Con is a breath of fresh air in a world that thinks I'm a movie snob. There they just accept that I've seen even more films than they have

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June 26, 2009

http://www.flickr.com/photos/anendfor/256201972/
Originally uploaded by anendFor (é um anagrama, pô)

I have to say that one of the most amusing things about my day job is that a few key people know that I have made a movie outside of my department and are fascinated by it. One patron of the arts in particular is the IT manager, we’ll call him Doug.

Doug is estatic I have made a movie and wants to ask me constantly about movies I like, why I like them, etc. Now that Doug knows my film is done he loves to ask me questions about being a director. Today he decided to pick my brain about my artistic process and how I make decisions about my shots, working with my actors, etc. It’s always fun too because he’s afraid of people overhearing us and figuring that I don’t want to be too long at this company so the instant someone from outside my department walks by he gets real quiet or starts talking about something else.

Personally, I kind of love this. It’s like I already have a groupie, and I’m getting interviewed.

It’s nice to have a fan.

June 22, 2009

I am very glad to have the film done but now I am playing a waiting game and it is making me anxious. Even worse than that is that work has been unbearably slow lately (as evidenced by the above picture which Patti did not know I was taking) so not only is that scary but it'S hard to keep your mind occupied when you have nothing to do. Plus it makes me long to be on set even more. I really wish I could have some on set visits right now...

June 21, 2009

I went to a Angel\Dodger game last night. I have to say that I don't get sports. Movies are definitely my bag. What gets me is the fans. Drunken sports fans are annoying. I don't understand why they feel the need to get drunk and scream at each other. I am a movie fanatic but I don't go to the theatre, stand up in the middle of an act and scream about how f---ing phenominal the director is handling the story beat. Why must sports fanatics slosh beer, scream & insult? Ugh. Give me a movie any day. The only time I'Ve gotten that rowdy was when Scorsesse won his Oscar.

June 16, 2009

Berlin 040
Originally uploaded by pirano

A lot has been going on lately and most of it is occurances that make me want to leave the day job and leave it now. I know I say this a lot, and I don't mean to complain but it's true.

The good thing that's been happening is that we are putting END into submission for film festivals. We are in consideration for four so far. I am not telling people which ones so that they won't know when to expect the good or bad news. While I don't expect to get into every festival that we apply to getting into a couple would be good. I also desprately want to get into Sundance, so I hope and pray that the film will be elegible for that and that Sundance would want us. I've wanted to be a part for Sundance even before I realized I wanted to direct.

Applying to film festivals has made me really want to go to film festivals. I am seriously having day dreams about what it would be like to be an invited director with a film in the festival. I'd feel like a bonefied director for sure. It would definitely be a confirmation that I can do this, and that I am following God's direction.

I was already experiencing those good pangs of angst when yesterday my day job announced that we all have to take a 5% pay cut to avoid further layoff's. As a victim of this companies previous layoff's I do not want anyone else to loose their job, I got mine back but I am the rare occurance. It's just that I am beginning to feel like the poster girl for the economic crisis.

Since January I've been laid off, re-hired, watched my friends loose their jobs, had the unemployment office bounce me around, been told it's going to be hard to become a director because of the studios restructuring due to the crisis and now I'm loosing more off my pay check. My psyche is feeling the pain.

I still think that 2009 can be a great year, I just find that more and more of my energy is being zapped and I really want it to stop.

June 9, 2009

March 1st
Originally uploaded by oliverwilke

We've started the process of applying to film festivals and I am already on pins and needles. It's no secret that I have a lot writing on End, and more than anything I want the hard work the cast and crew put into the film to pay off for them. Now, it's kind of like applying to colleges - I apply, I know I won't get in everywhere and in the end I wait on pins and needles for months to find out who wants to show the movie and who doesn't.

This is really where I have to put all of my trust in God, that He will get End where he wants it to be, and that if He wants me to be able to do this directing thing full time that it will happen.

Meanwhile, I wait.

June 8 2009

I just discovered that Sundance in 2010 will coencide with the 1 year anniversary of my getting laid off. I already wanted to get into that fest badly and now I want to get into it even worse. I hope God has good things in store for our little movie, perhaps even a way to become a full time director. I will jump for joy the day that happens...and the day a film of mine gets into a huge festival.

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June 2, 2009

Shameless self-promotion here. this is not the actual poster for my film. I made this as a blog header for the END blog but I thought it was cool...