June 16, 2009

Berlin 040
Originally uploaded by pirano

A lot has been going on lately and most of it is occurances that make me want to leave the day job and leave it now. I know I say this a lot, and I don't mean to complain but it's true.

The good thing that's been happening is that we are putting END into submission for film festivals. We are in consideration for four so far. I am not telling people which ones so that they won't know when to expect the good or bad news. While I don't expect to get into every festival that we apply to getting into a couple would be good. I also desprately want to get into Sundance, so I hope and pray that the film will be elegible for that and that Sundance would want us. I've wanted to be a part for Sundance even before I realized I wanted to direct.

Applying to film festivals has made me really want to go to film festivals. I am seriously having day dreams about what it would be like to be an invited director with a film in the festival. I'd feel like a bonefied director for sure. It would definitely be a confirmation that I can do this, and that I am following God's direction.

I was already experiencing those good pangs of angst when yesterday my day job announced that we all have to take a 5% pay cut to avoid further layoff's. As a victim of this companies previous layoff's I do not want anyone else to loose their job, I got mine back but I am the rare occurance. It's just that I am beginning to feel like the poster girl for the economic crisis.

Since January I've been laid off, re-hired, watched my friends loose their jobs, had the unemployment office bounce me around, been told it's going to be hard to become a director because of the studios restructuring due to the crisis and now I'm loosing more off my pay check. My psyche is feeling the pain.

I still think that 2009 can be a great year, I just find that more and more of my energy is being zapped and I really want it to stop.