March 26, 2010

Originally uploaded by mrbosslady
At the risk of sounding like a meloncholy broken record, I am tired of work.

I often think that it's harder to be a person with a dream or ambitions than a person that is happy where they are planted. If you have a lofty goal and you're swimming upstream like I am, you start to feel like you are never getting anywhere and none of your effort is paying off.

It's times like these that I need to remember that God is in control and not me, but more often than not that is a hard thing to remember.

The human centric spirit inside of me want answers and wants them now. I don't want to deal with God-time, I want to deal on my time. If I am miserable and unhappy with my situation in life I want the fix. But God doesn't work that way.

The truth is that I don't know what lies ahead for me. For all I know two weeks from now I will get a phone call and someone will be interested in my movie and I will begin a new season of my life. But on the flip side I could be stuck in this season of my life filled with angst and meloncholy for years to come. I hope not, but it's all on God-time not mine.

My job is just to keep the faith, listen when He pushes me, and try to discern the path ahead of me. Every day I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how exhausted I might be.