September 29, 2009

074 - 15.03.07
Originally uploaded by I'm godmother

I was a page at Paramount Pictures for about a year; along with giving tours and working on TV tapings we'd sometimes be pimped out as temps to other departments at Paramount. I only did one semi-long term temp gig and that was in the TV contracts division. Let me tell you, that somehow managed to be less exciting than it sounds - shocker, I know.

Durring my few weeks as part of the TV contracts department highlighters became my best friend. You see the job another page and I were assigned was to go over the TV schedules for all these backwoods markets, find the Paramount series they were running in syndication and verify the times we were told they were running versus the schedules they had on the web...and we'd highlight discrepancies & matches.

I've done a lot of mind numbing jobs in my time but this was one of the most draining tasks I've ever performed for eight hours a day.

I started thinking of this because my art department has brought on some temps for a few weeks. They're not even doign anything as exciting as lookign at TV schedules and callign station managers - they're entering coupons into a spreadsheet.

So glad that's not me.

September 26 2009

I'm not normally all that groovy looking on the weekend but I got in the mood this weekend & totally decided to do my makeup, hair & dress cute to go shopping. Sturck out on shoe shopping though.

Fantastic Fest is going on right now & I am having trouble rwading the coverage because I so want END to get into festivals. It's upsetting to see big films with distribution get into fewtw & get exposure when little films like mine that desprately need the coverage, press & exposure can't get in because we can't compete with a polished, expensive film.

Christopher & I need to figure out how to get or film even a small amount of notice. We are going to need help making our next feature & we can't do much unless people start to discover the products we produce.

I have faith God will do something, I just don't know what that something is.

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September 22 2009

I decided to be different today & try something new for lunch. I've never been a sushi person but I started craving CA rolls yesterday. Luckily, I remembered Trader Joes carries little lunch sized sushi rolls for $3. I am glad I had an interesting lunch to look forward to as it's been a bad week that coninued today.
My attitude in regards to my prospective directing career have improved since Sunday & I have to say that's definitelt due to God & an absolutely crappy week at work.

I'm about to make my way through Alfonso Curaon's filmography for a blog article I'm working on...that should help too.

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September 19, 2009

14
Originally uploaded by babyex

My entire life I’ve been taught to be independent, to be ambitious, and to push towards goals and continue to work until you achieve them. I was prepared to work hard, to work under any conditions presented to me, and to just keep at it all until my work is recognized. What I am not prepared for is what to do when you work this hard and no one cares.

No matter how hard I work, how good I do, or how great the product I’ve made is no one wants it. If I try or if I don’t no one sees me. No one sees the work I do. This is the one obstacle I can’t seem to overcome. I don’t know what to do next or how to continue past this. I feel dead in the water.

There is nothing harder as an artist than to continually toil and create new things and have no one want to see it, and have no way to get people to see it.

It rips out a little of my inspiration and creative essence every time I read those words printed on an unobtrusive e-mail. The phrases “not accepted”, “a number of gifted applicants”, “a shortage of slots” and a number of other negative phrases will soon send me into a spiral even deeper than the gentle slope I am on now. The phrase “we look forward to seeing your future works” might just be one of the meanest, uncaring phrases ever typed on a keyboard.

What no one prepares you for as an artist is what to do when you make what is a well crafted, beautiful piece of art and because of your lack of connections, lack of star power, or lack of funding cannot make it past your own door step. How can I take the next step artistically if no one provides me with a path?

Septermber 10 2009

I love movies. That's why I am trying to push this boulder uphill & make this a career. Still, I have recently come to the conclusion that I want my drama to stay in my movies.

I am hoping it is a phase but lately it seems like I have had an upsurge of drsma in my life. I was laid off, unemployment was a joke, I was rehird & my job changed completely while I was gone, a good friend decided to cut me out of her life, my brothers both ended relationships, 2 of my best friends ended their relationship, a friend has a huge crush on me (making me quite uneasy), my grandmother is slowly dying, etc. And on top of that I am still trying to push END.

Yesterday I decided I hit my limit. I have hit my drama quotient for 2009. Unless there is something positive coming, the rest of my drama can wait for 2010 to hit.

If only it were that easy.

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Spetember 4 2009

So I am sitting in the break room at work, fuming because its been a frustrating week and to top it off they officially blocked the internet today.

I am cool with doing my surfing at home but two basic things piss me off about this. 1) I work in the ART DEPT. We get told constantly to go online to pull photos, colors, etc. 2) I use withoutabox periodically to check on festival submissions and upcoming deadlines. I need to browse the web. I don't stream content or download.

Grrr. Let's get END into some festivals!

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September 2, 2009

Film reels on the Hollywood subway
Originally uploaded by Rodents rule

It's time for me to figure out how to make a demo reel.

Youmight think it's a little late for me to be doing this as I have a feature film and 3 short films already in the can, but it's not. For a long time I didn't have enough to put on a demo reel, and what's held me back since I shot END is that I don't have the right equipment to make my own reel. I have been holding out hoping I was goign to get my mac and final cut, but I still don't have it.

It's time to bite the bullet and make it though. I need to get moving forward.