September 19, 2009

Originally uploaded by babyex
My entire life I’ve been taught to be independent, to be ambitious, and to push towards goals and continue to work until you achieve them. I was prepared to work hard, to work under any conditions presented to me, and to just keep at it all until my work is recognized. What I am not prepared for is what to do when you work this hard and no one cares.

No matter how hard I work, how good I do, or how great the product I’ve made is no one wants it. If I try or if I don’t no one sees me. No one sees the work I do. This is the one obstacle I can’t seem to overcome. I don’t know what to do next or how to continue past this. I feel dead in the water.

There is nothing harder as an artist than to continually toil and create new things and have no one want to see it, and have no way to get people to see it.

It rips out a little of my inspiration and creative essence every time I read those words printed on an unobtrusive e-mail. The phrases “not accepted”, “a number of gifted applicants”, “a shortage of slots” and a number of other negative phrases will soon send me into a spiral even deeper than the gentle slope I am on now. The phrase “we look forward to seeing your future works” might just be one of the meanest, uncaring phrases ever typed on a keyboard.

What no one prepares you for as an artist is what to do when you make what is a well crafted, beautiful piece of art and because of your lack of connections, lack of star power, or lack of funding cannot make it past your own door step. How can I take the next step artistically if no one provides me with a path?